Starting Over...

Your Struggles Today Are Your Strengths Tomorrow 

There really are no words to describe all that I have been thru in the last few weeks. Our emotions have traveled a heck of a roller coaster. We were on a high because after three years, we were some how able to get pregnant. Then a few short weeks later we learned that things were not looking great and we spent a few weeks being terribly worried. Only to later to learn that the baby was not going to make it. This past week I had my surgery to remove what remained of the pregnancy. To say it was hard, it a bit of an understatement. 

Heading into surgery on Monday. 

I will be quite honest. When we learned I was pregnant, I was so afraid to mess anything up so I basically quit exercising. The doctors told me light exercise would be fine since I had already been active but I decided it was not worth the risk so I just stopped almost all together. Some would think oh no big deal who cares. Heres the thing though, for the last three years exercise was a part of my daily life. It was a part of me. The exercise was my stress relief. The workouts were not for weight loss they were for health and quite honestly it helped to keep my spirits up during hard times. I grew to really enjoy it and when I stopped I felt like a piece of me went missing.

All I was hanging on to was clean eating and truthfully that started to slip the more stressful things became as I learned something might be wrong with the pregnancy. I found myself slipping back to my old ways and getting lazy about what I was fueling my body with. The more junk I started to eat the more lousy I began to feel.  

I hit what I would call a bit of a rock bottom this week. Emotionally I have been a terribly sad and completely not myself. I spent much of the week recovering from the surgery I had on Monday. I went back to work on Thursday and Friday but have mostly been staying off social media and away from everyone. It seems the only person I feel like talking with is my husband and a very small handful of people. I realize it's not a great place to be but it's how I am getting thru and where I am right now. I also realize I need to get back to ME. While that may take time, I need to start somewhere and for me the only place I know can start with is my health. 

It's what feels familiar, its my old sense of normal and it's what I can control. So that is my plan. Controlling the controllable and handling the rest day by day.

The game plan is to start Saturday April 30th with the original program that I started with three short years ago when I started my journey as a challenger turned coach. I will spend the next 21 days doing the original 21 day fix. I will be drinking my Shakeology daily and using the portion control containers with my meal plan and working out 30 minutes a day each day. I am certain there will be days when I just don't feel like it, but I am making no excuses. I want to feel better about myself again and this is where I can start. Since March I have gained 9 lbs all of which I am almost certain I can drop in those 21 days. If I don't, that's okay too. This isn't about weight loss it's about getting back to my old self. 

I am asking for some support and extra cheering on in these coming weeks. I'm ready to turn my struggles into tomorrows strength. Your welcome to join me instead of just watching if you would like! Glad to have you along for the ride!

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