Eating For Two... Second Trimester Meal Plan

Second Trimester Eating 

For those of you who are expecting, I wanted to share my weekly meal plan with you all to give you an idea of what I am eating each week. I will be honest and say I am much more lax about sticking to this than I am when I am not pregnant. Some days I have food aversions and what was planned doesn't sound so appetizing to me so I switch it up. Some days I starving for more than what is planned so I have an additional snack and some days I can't eat all of this. Basically it is my guide to keep me somewhat on track so that I can maintain a healthy weight during this pregnancy. 

You will notice that the meal plan is color coded. That is because I am still following the 21 day fix portion control container system when it comes to eating. In case you are new to this system, below is an image representing what each color is for. After the pregnancy is over I will get back to following the allotted containers more strictly. For now, they are just a guide for to be be sure I am eating enough and not over doing it in a certain area. 

I truly feel so much better this second time around when it comes to the pregnancy. During my first I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and because of that I gained 57 lbs. The doctors were less than thrilled and it was really difficult to get rid of all that weight after the fact even with breastfeeding. This time around I have made a conscious approach to eat healthy, do modified exercise and realize that eating for two does not mean eating 4,000 calories a day. You really should only be adding in an additional 350- 400 calories a day. I am not stressing about it. I am simply enjoying the pregnancy and feeding the baby healthy foods. 

If your expecting and could use some help with your meal planning or incorporating modified exercise into your lifestyle please fill out the application below and I will be in touch within 24 hours.  Or even if your not expecting and would just like some help feel free to also fill this out.

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Maybe This Will Be Your Year After All....

Appreciate The Season You Are In

As we get ready to close 2016 I wanted to take a minute to sit down and share my heart with anyone who feels like they are just waiting for the tides to turn and life to change. This past year was my year of waiting and I can tell you the ups and downs have made the ups even better when they finally did happen. I have seen some absolute high's in my life this year and also some lows so maybe, just maybe I can give you hope as you look forward to 2017.

I think I time table of events would be helpful to show you what the year has looked like. Lucky for my I live by my planner and also that I share most of my life on social media so doing a recap with dates like this was actually much easier that it would be for most.

January 8th - I was scheduled to begin IUI infertility treatments at Magee Women's Hospital after two years of having struggled. We had actually given up hope, but my instincts said I couldn't live with the what "if's" if I didn't at least try a few rounds before closing that chapter. That same day I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. She didn't like what my numbers were saying when she got back my lab results and suggested I put the brakes on fertility treatments. She felt it would be a waste of emotional energy and money because my body wasn't going to do so hot even if it did work. She asked that I give her a few months to figure everything out that was going on. I left there in tears feeling defeated yet again. So I held off on taking the fertility medications that I was supposed to start that day.

Sometimes the biggest smiles are hiding the most heartache. This was taken at an event the night of those two appointments. Sometimes you really have no idea what someone is going thru until you get to know them better. Nobody would have guessed the heartache we were feeling that night.

February 9th - I underwent insulin resistance testing at the hospital. This was a 4 hour test that knocked me on my butt. I never want to go thru that kind of testing again. They took my blood sugar down into the 40's to see how my body would respond. Turns out nobody showed up to the game to do their job on the inside. My sugar barely left the 50's even after hours of testing. They concluded that my body was hypoglycemic and my Hashimotio's disease was the worst it had been yet from an antibody stand point. That afternoon lots of suggestions were made and I was sent home with metformin medication, a gluclometer and encouraged to try a gluten free lifestyle. I was so angry that I had yet another thing to have to worry about and deal with and still had no answers to our fertility problems. At 29 years old I felt like my health was going down hill fast no matter how hard I tried to stay healthy.

During the month of February I got strict about going gluten free. I read books, I tried different foods and some days I just cried because I was frustrated with the situation but I gave it my best.

March 11 - 17th - My husband and I were lucky enough to enjoy a cruise that I had earned because of my Beachbody coaching business to the Bahamas and Jamaica. It was a much needed escape from reality. All the medical testing and fertility worries were becoming too much. We needed a break and some time just for us. We had an absolutely wonderful time but I couldn't stop napping while we were there. It lead me to start to wonder what was going on.

March 18th - I took a pregnancy test in the middle of the night. Sure enough. Positive. My mind was blown.

April 6th - Baby appointment. We got to see our miracle up on the screen. We saw it's heartbeat and finally felt like our prayers were answered. We kept it our little secret but our excitement was growing and growing.

April 15th - That day we had another ultrasound and it was confirming that something was indeed wrong with the baby. Not growing according to size, sub chronic hemotoma in my uterus and a slow heartbeat. The outcome we were about to face was heartbreaking.

April 19th - Follow up ultrasound. Baby still had a heartbeat but not much of one so it was a waiting game until it stopped.

April 21st - Early morning appointment. The words "we are sorry, but there is no heartbeat anymore" rocked our little world to the core.

April 25th - Scheduled D&E surgery to remove the remains of the baby. It felt like one of the worst days of our life.

May 15th - I announced my resignation from my position as the Dean of Students at the high school I had taught at for the last 7 years. After working for 2 years part time as a Beachbody coach building my business after bedtime I was finally to the point that I just couldn't keep doing both and my heart just wasn't in education anymore. I knew it was time to go. It was something we had planned for all year and it felt good to have finally made it to the point that this was an option for me. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be "retiring" at such a young age from education.

June 11th - That morning I helped to graduate the class of 2016 and then walked out of there ready to start my next chapter in life whatever that was going to bring along with it. In the moment I was terrified, excited and hopeful but I really had no idea what was to come for me. More than anything I was just proud of myself that day for having the courage to follow my heart and chase big dreams even if it did seem crazy. 

Celebration surprise from my hubby that day.

Summer Time - We spent the summer healing from all of the stress we encountered this year. I soaked up being a mom and being a wife. We traveled, we made memories and we finally felt happy with closing the chapter on wanting another baby and were confident that life had some great things in store for us next even if we couldn't see them just yet. I spent the summer growing in my faith as well. I swear it was the only thing that got my thru those dark months after the miscarriage. I always went to church and had faith, but not like I did after this year. I owe a lot of it to daily personal development readings about faith and also weekly Joel Osteen podcasts. They gave me hope when I didn't have any anymore. 

August 9th - After 94 years on earth my sweet Grandma went to be with the Lord.

September 15th - I traveled to Destin, FL for a trip with some of the top coaches on my team for a leadership retreat. While there, I learned that God had something pretty incredible in store for us. We were expecting again and this time it just felt different. This time I had hope. I finally started to learn that things had to happen on HIS time not mine and I had to be courageous enough to have faith that it would work out for the best. 

October 16th - We made our official announcement that we were expecting baby number 2. It was a day we never though we would ever see. 

December 25th - On Christmas morning we learned that our little miracle is going to be a little girl. It was hands down one of my favorite moments from all of 2016.  

As you can see it really has been a roller coaster. Each of the moments were bittersweet. This year has taught me that life really does work out if your willing to sit back and enjoy the ride even if some days the ride doesn't feel like much fun. I have learned that going thru dark days make bright days even better and that following your heart will require sacrifice and courage but you sure do feel proud of yourself when your brave enough to do it. 

Last year on New Years Eve I never could have saw ANY of this coming and I don't know that I was ready for it all, but I can say this with certainly. I am grateful for ALL of it. This year shaped me a lot and even made me grow up a little more than years past have. I absolutely have changed because of this year. My heart is bigger, my faith and marriage are stronger and I feel like I understand what true happiness means now more than I ever did. My story is a little richer and deeper now, but I would like to think that this year gave my life more character. 

I hope you can learn to see the blessing in your storms and have faith that better days really are ahead if your willing to just keep going. 

Happy New Year. Wishing you a year full of wonderful milestones. Remember life is what you make of it. We only get one chance and are here for a short time. Make sure you enjoy the ride. 

Naming Our Rainbow Baby

How Gracie Got Her Name... 

You may or may not know this but we had been struggling with infertility for the last 2 1/2 years. We experienced a miscarriage this past spring and it really was hard to go thru. We finally decided to move forward and be okay with only having one child after going thru it all. Then this summer shortly after my grandmas passed away we learned that we were in fact expecting. It felt like a miracle and I almost felt like I had a special guardian angel watching over me. I convinced myself that if  grandma could have nine successful pregnancies, maybe just maybe she would have a hand in helping ours along the way.

Shortly after we found out that I was pregnant I started to see a rainbows each day. They call a baby born after a miscarriage a "rainbow baby" so I found it ironic that I was seeing them so often. At first I thought it was a coincidence but then it became a daily thing and to this day five and half months in I see at least one a day. I would like to think it's my grandma's gentle way of reminding me that everything is going to be okay. It reminds me of this special crystal that she had in her dining room that would hang from the window and shine rainbow rays of light. I still remember seeing it every time I visited her house as a child. 

My instincts started to tell me that maybe just maybe it would be a girl. I decided from the start that if it was a girl I wanted to use Ann as her middle name since that was my grandma's name. Then it came time to start picking possible boy and girl names. My husband had Grace (Gracie) on his list. It was never one of my first picks, but it started to grow on me.  Then things started to happen that made me reconsider. The name started to appear everywhere. The homily at church based on the topic of grace. I would see the name just randomly in places and I started to be drawn to it but I wasn't sold on Grace Ann. That's when I decided I would do Grace Elizabeth possibly. I knew she loved saying "Sarah Elizabeth" when she greeted me each time I saw her. I knew she loved it also because she used it as my aunt's name. Then a few days later when we were doing our family advent reading, the topic for the day was on the importance of a name and what names meant. This passage stopped me dead in my tracks. It talked about how the name Ann means grace or Gods favor. It lead me to do some research and I realized that Ann is Hebrew and it means God has favored me. The name refers to Grace. In that moment I realized that name was perfect. Even better than just using Ann for the middle name. 

The signs just kept coming. Earlier this week one of the local churches passed out flyers and put them on all the doors in the neighborhood inviting us to their Christmas service. The church name. Yep you guessed it Grace Hills Church. The encounters got to the point that I was seeing it SEVERAL times a day in unexpected places. 

The last encounter was almost eerie. It happened the day of our ultrasound as I was checking out at Macys. The lady asked if we knew what we were having and I explained that we actually had that ultrasound that morning. We had the ultrasound tech put the gender reveal in a box with confetti and that we would be opening it on Christmas morning. I told her how excited we were because we had waited so long and had such a difficult time getting pregnant. She informed me her daughter struggled too for eight years. She then smiled and said that's why we named her Grace. She wished me luck and said Merry Christmas. It took my breath away. I could barely even respond to her. 

Some might think that all of these encounters with rainbows and grace are just coincidences but I would like to think otherwise. I would like to say they are messages from a very special guardian angel. As much as I miss my grandma, I think she's closer to me then I realize. 

It came to no surprise to me on Christmas morning that the gender reveal box  in fact did had lots of pink confetti inside. So Grace Elizabeth Griffith it is. She will make her arrival on May 22nd. While the name was never one we considered in the past I think we would be crazy not to. 

If your willing to get quiet and listen God often speaks pretty darn clear to you. 

Pregnancy & Hashimoto's Disease

The Bubble I Have Been Living In 

This morning I wanted to take some time and put some things out there that I have not shared all that much about my pregnancy but I just feel like it's time. 

If you follow me on social media you probably follow me for fitness motivation, healthy recipes, or possibly because of my openness about infertility and miscarriage. Whatever the reason you know me as the fitness coach and since becoming pregnant you might have noticed less and less fitness. 

Maybe you are wondering why. Because during the first trimester there was very little fitness happening. 

Shortly after learning that I was expecting I had an appointment with my endocrinologist whom I respect very much. 

I have worked with a lot of different doctors when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease, but she is my go to girl. What she says goes in my world. Yes I really trust her that much. She has been trying relentlessly to help us get pregnant during the last year. From extensive testing, to putting the breaks on my fertility treatments, to dealing with what she thinks was PCSO and even hypoglycemia. You name it, shes been my person working on it for me. 

When I found out the end of the summer that I was expecting she was one of the FIRST people who knew. Literally even before my mom knew. I knew that not only my health, but the viability of my pregnancy depended on my thyroid health and I was going to need some close monitoring by her to make this happen. 

We met right away and made a game plan for how we would approach the pregnancy if it lasted. While that was a hard conversation to have, we knew the outcome of the pregnancy I had in the spring and we knew the struggle so we wanted to be proactive. 

One of the first things we talked about was my exercise. She knew I was very into fitness and she knew how hard I worked out. Her request was that I stop. Entirely. I about fell out of my chair when she said that. She said no cardio, no weights, not even pilates for now. She said I could walk and a few weeks later agreed on yoga. I was terrified what taking a break from exercise would do to my fitness business that I had worked so hard to build.

More than anything though, I wanted this pregnancy to work. So I followed her wishes. No exercise. She said my body has a hard enough time keeping up with all of the stresses that I put on it on a day to day basis not being pregnant. She insisted that I needed to be resting and only worry about growing a baby. If you are not familiar with what Hashimoto's disease is, it is an autoimmune disease where your bodies antibodies attack your thyroid treating it like something they need to "kill off." This in turn causes your thyroid not to function properly which is your control system for most of the internal functions of your body. Basically if your thyroid levels or antibodies are off, your in trouble. 

My gynocologist decided at 8 weeks that she wanted me exercising. My endo still did not. While I trust and respect both I needed to go with my gut and I needed to still not workout just yet. Not exercising was tricky. It made me feel like part of "me" was missing but I still sat it out. 

I managed to not gain much weight so far like I had in my pregnancy with Carter and I really contribute it to my lifestyle. Other than a few off the wall junk food cravings that I have had, I am eating very clean, drinking a ton of water and being mindful of portion control. Last time I took eating for two literally and managed to gain 57 lbs. So far 18 weeks in I have only gained 13 lbs. While I really could care less about the weight gain, it is a sign to me that I am having a much healthier second pregnancy. 

The second trimester brought with it lots more energy and a desire to exercise. While it has not been daily and it has been modified, it feels good to be back in action. Some sacrifices are worth making and for me it's the health of my baby. Lots will argue that it's perfectly fine to exercise during pregnancy and while the answer typically is yes it depends on each person and their own circumstance. For me pregnancy combined with a pretty severe case of Hashimoto's disease means I have to take it easy. 

I guess you could say that I have spent the last five months in a bubble. Lots of sleep, little stress, little exercise, healthy foods and I have been trying my best to stay away from crowds to avoid germs. The pregnancy has been nothing like the first and so so so much harder on my body. I am learning that an autoimmune disorder while pregnant means your playing an entirely different ball game than everyone else.

When you wait as long as I did to be pregnant you treat your body with a lot of respect for what it's growing. Even if it means taking a break from things that you love. 

If your in the same boat that I am, expecting and dealing with a health condition but still wanting to have a healthy fit pregnancy please get in touch with me. I would love to work with you on creating a modified way to include exercise and healthy eating into the remainder of your pregnancy.

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Understanding Beachbody On Demand All Access

Best Deal Around

If you follow any Beachbody coaches on social media, you would have noticed there was A LOT of buzz going on in our world yesterday. Why? Well because we just took the wraps off of a huge company undertaking. Total game changer and total money saver for our clients. 

What is it that I am talking about? Beachbody On Demand All- Access. This is going to be a 12 month subscription to our Beachbody On Demand Library. Not sure what that even is? Start here with this little video to get a better understanding of On- Demand and why I love it so much. 

 

But it gets better. Not only do you get access to the existing On Demand Library, they also have decided to include ALL of our workout programs we have ever created INCLUDING all that come out in the next 12 months in the library. $6,000 dollar value. Total steal. 

In addition you will also recieve a set of the portion control containers to help you keep your nutrition on track. Most all of our new programs use this system to help teach you portion control and lose the weight all while preventing you from having to count calories. Those will get shipped out to you shortly after your purchase. 

Wait, I still have more - You will get to pick out a one months supply of Shakeology. Any flavor that you would like with our 30 day money back guarantee. 

AND you get access to my challenge groups and have ME as your coach for the next year.

So your probably wondering. How much does something like this cost? $199.00 out the door. Unreal. 

Next your thinking this is great. How do I get started. Fill out the application below indicating that you want be a part of my next challenge and would like for the ALL ACCESS to be your challenge pack. I will be in touch within 24 hours. 

You can place your order by clicking here. However keep in mind, this promotion will only run from December 27, 2016 - February 28, 2017 so be sure to take advantage of it while you can. 

I hope this has you as excited as it does me about the potential for this coming year. So many options for my clients at the best price I have ever seen since becoming a coach. Forget the gym memberships this year. Go for Beachbody On-Demand instead.

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Apple & Onion Pork Roast

Easy Crock Pot Dinner

This is a recipe that I have heard of before but was never willing to try to make. The idea of apples mixed together with onions just didn't sound like it would taste all that great together so I avoided it. A few weeks ago when visiting home my dads girlfriend had brought over this dish for us. I was anxious to try it and ended up LOVING it. That made me want to add it to this weeks meal plan so that my husband could enjoy it too. 

I prepped it in the crockpot and loved how easy it was to make. If your wanting a cozy home cooked meal with little work I suggest that you try this. Here is what you will need.

Ingredients

Pork Roast - Size will depend on your family. Ours was about 3 lbs. 

3 apples (any kind) sliced and peeled

1 cup of apple juice 

1 large onion sliced 

Salt & pepper to taste

Directions 

Place the pork roast into the crock pot - turn it onto high plan to have it cook for about 6 hours. 

Pour apple juice over the roast season with salt & pepper 

Slice slits across the top of the roast

Tuck apple slices into the slits then cover the top of the roast with remaining apples and onions. 

Cover and cook on high. 

Paired nicely with mashed potatoes and french green beans. 

Wishing You The Most Wonderful Holiday

Happy Holidays From My Family To Yours... 

From the bottom of my heart I want to wish you all a joyful holiday season. As we approach the last week leading up to the holidays, I hope that you can keep in mind what the season is truly all about and keep the spirit of Christmas in your heart. Your family does not care what gifts are under the tree or how perfect your cookies taste or even if you baked them yourself. They care about you. Your presence during the holidays and the love you bring. 

Take some time this week to be a blessing to others. Do something that feels good with the expectation of nothing in return and most of all keep your spirits bright and be a light to others. 

We spent a lot of time this month trying to teach our son why we really celebrate this holiday. We devoted time each day to read a story from our advent book to teach him more about Christ. We made cookies. We shopped, we wrapped, we saw Santa and the holiday lights. The list goes on but the moral of the story is we are ready for next Sunday. However more than ever I can proudly say that my family has the spirit of Christmas in our hearts. More than we ever have had in years past. It took more effort, but with some work our focus became less and less on presents and more and more on giving and true joy. I have to say it feels wonderful. 

Our little man brings so much light to the holiday season. He has such a big heart and is so looking forward to Christmas morning. His excitement has been contagious; as you can probably relate to if you have a small child yourself. It really does make the holidays more fun. 

While I admit that I am anxiously awaiting to watch him open all of the presents on Christmas morning, I am also looking forward to watching him stand beside me during the Christmas Eve mass basking in the excitement of the joy that is to come. Hearing his sweet little voice belt out the Christmas carols he has been signing so loudly all month at home reminds me that we are on the right path with him. He has "Hark The Herold Angels Sing" down to a T. I am sure everyone around us at mass that night with have a big smile listening to him. 

I am also looking forward to the surprise that we have waiting for us on Christmas morning. On Thursday this week we will be finding out the gender of the baby that is arriving in May. We are going to ask that we wait to find out and have them put pink or blue confetti in a box that we will open last on Christmas morning. I really cannot think of a more special memory for the three of us to experience together. 

This year has been a roller coaster of emotions and celebrations. To say we have expereinced changes is an understatement. Some good and some not so good, but we grew stronger as a family because of it. 

I thank you all for allowing me to be a part of your life. Maybe as your coach, maybe as your go to for healthy recipes, maybe for inspiration or maybe just a friend on social media or in"real life." I want you to know you all matter to me and I am forever grateful that you allow me into your world. I look forward to helping many of you in the coming months. 

May your days leading up to Christmas and the New Year be Merry and Bright. 

All our love!

Sarah, Kevin, Carter and Baby Griffith 

* If your wondering why you didn't get a Christmas card this year it's because I just didn't send them. Instead I spent the month making memories with the family. I know you understand. Enjoy the pictures. They were supposed to be for the card, at least I did do that. HA HA. Maybe next year. 

Cranberry Balsamic Chicken

Chicken With A Twist 

I have to be honest and say I wasn't so sure how this recipe would turn out. I was worried that it just wouldn't have enough flavor, but boy was I ever wrong. This was a wonderful dinner not only did it taste great but it was also very "elegant." 

I served it with brown rice and also fresh green beans. My little one was not a fan of the balsamic but my husband and I enjoyed this one very much. I would suggest it if you are having company over and want to "wow" them with something different. 

Here are the ingredients that you will need: 

• 2 Chicken breasts 
• a sprinkle of dried Italian herbs (optional) 1/2 cup fresh cranberries 
• 1 tbsp each maple syrup and balsamic vinegar mixed together to coat chicken during roasting
For the Marinade
• 1/3 cup cranberries
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tbsp tamari sauce or gluten free soy sauce I used Braggs Liquid Aminos 
• 2 tbsp maple syrup
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 tsp sea salt
• 1/4 tsp black peppers
• 2 garlic cloves (or 1 tsp minced)

Directions

1. Trim fat from chicken breasts and place into a glass 13x9 pan. 
2. Next prepare your marinade.
3. Blend all the ingredients listed in the Marinade in a food processor or blender until liquified and smooth.
4. Pour this over the chicken, coating evenly.
5. Cover and place in fridge to marinade for 30 minutes or up to 24 hrs.
6. Once marinaded, preheat oven to 375F.
7. Remove chicken from fridge.
8. Add your extra 1/3 to 1/2 cup cranberries and Italian herbs to the dish. Spread it out evenly on and around the chicken.
9. Cooking time will be around 35 minutes total.
10. After thoroughly cooked, remove from oven.
11. Spoon the sauce from the pan onto each chicken thigh/breast and a pinch of black pepper or cracked pepper.
12. Serve with the roasted cranberries on top and any extra fresh herbs desired.

2017 Beachbody Health Bet -

Would You Be Willing To Bet On Bettering Your Health? 

Maybe you have started to get word that BEACHBODY IS GOING TO PAY PEOPLE TO GET HEALTHY DURING THE MONTH OF January. Yes you read that right. There is going to be a challenge coming up soon called the " Beachbody Health Bet." This is going to begin on January 2nd and wrap up on February 5th.

Here is how it will work -

You will need to be enrolled in a challenge group with a coach using the my challenge tracker app. Please click here if you would like to have me as your coach and sign up for your free account. Each week you will need to log at least three workouts and five days of shakeology consumptions in your app. Those who have met these qualifications during the entire challenge period will be entered in the pot to win some of the prize payout. 

Beachbody has already contributed 2 million dollars to the prize pot with the potential for it to increase to 3 million. How much will you win? Who knows until you play. Regardless if you win one dollar or a hundred dollars your going to win either way because you will have taken steps to improve your health. 

Please feel free to email me with more questions or fill out the application below so that you can join in on the fun.

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Writing Your Story Again And Again

Your life is going to change several time during the course of your years here on earth. Chances are your body will too. There will be times in your life when your in the best shape of your life then times when you are at your rock bottom. Some years you will be wearing your clothes with confidence and some years when you look for layers to hide the body image issues your running from.

Some with go thru life at a consistent weight, but many are not that lucky. Life, stress, hardships, medical conditions, pregnancies, and "midlife" crisis will take you on journeys you could have never dreamed of. Your body is a canvas and it will change. I can promise you that.

One thing I know for certain is your body is strong and it can transform into whatever your heart desires as long as your willing to go after it.

Will you all end up with flat six packs and sculpted arms someday? Probably not. But you all have the power to feel happy and confident in your own skin. How do I know? Because I have lived at both ends of that spectrum.

My transformation over the last almost three years is nothing drastic as you can see from my pictures. My weight has only had about a 5 lb fluctuation over this time. But my muscle mass has changed, my choices have changed and so has my confidence.

If you have followed my journey you know I started out as a mom just looking to drop the last few pounds I was carrying around two years after my first pregnancy. I did the 21 day fix and fell in love. The rest is obviously history because I am still here today sharing how much it helped my life. The girl who started this journey in the black shorts above was tired. She has no time for herself. She was skinny looking but lived off of junk foods and drinks from the drive thru at Starbucks each day. She hated her muffin top when she sat down and she was unsatisfied with her new mom body she had. On the outside she looked fine but on the inside she needed a change.

The girl with the abs on the far left. The rock solid ones. Yep that's me too. I earned those abs and quite honestly I can do without them. I wanted to see how I could sculpt my body and come back from a 57 lb weight gain in my first pregnancy. I pushed my limits from a physical standpoint. I said no to sweets and lots of carbs and I did ab workouts every single day until I hated it. I learned that abs are indeed made in the kitchen but if you wanted them to stay you had to be relentless. I decided it wasn't worth being relentless over. I started this journey to be healthy for my family. I didn't need to have a six pack to be happy so I backed off, but I proved to myself I could do anything I set my mind to.

The girl in the middle picture. She's smiling but she is terribly sad. This was her before picture taken just this past summer. She was about to do the Country Heat workout for the first time. She is 4 months out from suffering her first miscarriage. She used food to curb her emotions that she was going thru and she decided exercise was just too much for her on some days. The emotional eating and lack of exercise put her in a place she hated and didn't want to be in anymore. She needed to get rid of that weight she was now carrying to help move her forward from the miscarriage because each time she looked into the mirror she was reminded of what wasn't there anymore.

The girl in the next picture is smiling but it's a real smile this time because she proved to herself again that she can do anything she puts her mind to. For 30 days she went "all in" with Country Heat. She ate according to the plan did her workouts for 30 minutes each day and she wanted to change more than she wanted to stay the same. So she did just that. She changed. She healed a little from the miscarriage and she got her habits back on track. She felt good again.

Then you see the girl on the far right. Gosh is she ever beaming and she is so proud of what her body is doing. Her body no longer has a six pack. She is not a size zero right now and to be honest she fits into NONE of her clothes. You know why she is smiling? Because after almost three years of a struggle with infertility and loss shes expecting a baby. A long awaited and much prayed for miracle. That little belly she is sporting now is about to get a whole lot bigger and she is okay with that.

My story and my journey is not over. My body is undergoing a "transformation" and it will do the same again this summer once my little one arrives. You see this lifestyle really isn't about what the scale will say or what size pants your wearing. In every picture I am wearing a size zero pants. (Yep the maternity pants are maternity zero too.) But a size zero can look and feel very really different.

Wear your scars like armor it's proof you showed up for something hard. So what if pregnancy gave you stretch marks. It also gave you a baby. Maybe you have lost a ton of weight  and you have excess skin. Be proud that you got yourself to the point that that's a problem for yourself. Realize your worth is determined by your heart and what is on the inside. Inner beauty beats the heck out of outer and inner beauty doesn't require any six pack abs.

If you need help rewriting your story. You know where to find me. Allow me to show you how, Lord knows the last three years has taught me how to do that.

Make 2017 your year to rewrite your story.

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Getting Thru Your Due Date

When Your Due Date Comes For The Baby You Lost

December 1st has been written on my calendar for months now. Nine to be exact. It was the due date for our baby that we lost this spring. I would be lying if I didn't say that I have been dreading it. I feel like once the date passes by the chapter will finally be closed.

I should preface this by saying that I am so so so grateful that I have another baby on the way now.  I can only imagine the hurt that those who also go thru this experience feel when another isn't on the way. We are the lucky ones. The ones who will be getting a baby soon as long as all goes well. While today still hurts us, it's not as sad as it could be and for that I am grateful. The pain that they must be feeling when this date passes by for them must be even more upsetting. Is today still a hard day for me? Absolutely but today is also part of the healing process.

This post is not a pity post. I don't need you to feel bad for us. I needed to write this for myself as part of moving forward and also to share with others what I did to get thru it all incase they are sitting in the same boat that we were.

In late February of 2016 I'd like to think a miracle happened. Finally after two and a half years of trying for a baby, I was able to get pregnant. We learned we were expecting in early March. A few weeks into the pregnancy we also learned that things didn't look well. The heartbeat was slower than it should be and the baby just wasn't growing enough. They also noticed a subchorionic hemorrhage. This meant a lot of visits to the doctor for us in the coming weeks. It meant lots of ultrasounds, lots of praying and sadly lots of not so great news.

As we neared the end of the pregnancy the heartbeat began to get slower and slower. I remember coming in for the ultrasound on a Friday morning and it barely being there anymore. Since it was obviously still "alive" we had to wait it out. The next week felt like the longest week of my life. We knew what the outcome was going to be, it was just a matter of when. I prayed and prayed for a miracle, but I knew in my heart that the baby wasn't going to make it. My husband and I went in that Thursday morning and sure enough the heartbeat finally had stopped. They put us in a "private room" while we waited for the doctor. I had a hard time keeping it together knowing I had a dead baby inside of me while all the other women were there because they had babies on the way. An OB office is the last place you want to be when facing this news.

About 30 minutes later we waited for the doctor to share our options with us. I was given advice from friends and family who had went thru it to opt for the D&E to just get it over with. I had went thru enough trauma in the last few weeks I didn't want to have to see it or pass it on my own. The OR schedule for Friday was already full so I had to wait until Monday morning. Talk about torture. We were instructed that if it started to happen on it's own to go ahead and come to the ER. That weekend was the only weekend in my life I had ever taken anything for anxiety but I decided I needed it.

Monday morning came. We dropped our son off at daycare and headed to the hospital. We spoke not much of a word to each other the whole way there. We rode hand in hand both sad for our little family. I was admitted and prepped for surgery around 9 am. I remember lying there just crying. I wanted the nightmare to end. The day was a blur. It took me awhile to come out of recovery. We didn't get home that day until 4:30pm or so. It will forever be one of the worst days of our marriage. We faced it together but it rocked us. It was a kind of sad that can't be explained.

The coming weeks were a whirlwind of emotions. I had taken most all of that week off of work and never left my bed. I was emotionally spent and sad. I stayed off social media, I ignored phone calls, visits and messages. I shut the world out and I don't regret that. I had to mourn the loss alone.

As the weeks passed by I started to "come to terms" with the fact that we were not having another baby. I struggled as friends around me shared the news of their own pregnancy. I watched as their bellies began to expand while mine didn't and now nine months later, I am now watching many of them welcome babies into the world.

I would never say that I am "grateful" to have lost a baby. But I will say that I am grateful for the journey that this loss took me on. I couldn't have said that then, but today nine months later I can. I am forever changed because of this. That journey brought me closer to God. It tested my faith, it showed me that marriage has hard days and that life will sometimes give you lemons. It helped me to be even more grateful for our son and the family that we did have.

There were days of crying in the shower and crying myself to sleep. There were workouts that were more like therapy sessions and there were books I read and podcast that I needed. I clung to Joel Osteen messages for hope and I spent time being a little broken. There was healing in all of it. Today I am able to share my story and it doesn't make me cry like it used it.

There is no answer of how long it will take you to feel better if you're the one going thru this. Maybe you will heal quickly, maybe it will take months and maybe even years. It will happen at different times for all of us. Sometimes it takes going thru something really hard to appreciate the joy in new beginnings. While this pregnancy I am going thru has been a wonderful unexpected blessing, it's also bittersweet. I look at it thru new eyes. It makes me appreciate each day even more than I would have had I not lost a child.

There will be a blessing in your own storm if you're the one going thru it. I can't tell you when, but I can tell you to keep your faith, keep your chin up and know that you're not alone. If your friend or family member is going thru this, send them a card, make them a dinner, bring wine. Whatever you feel like doing, just show up because they need you more than they will ever let on.

Today I am planning to purchase a lemon tree for inside our home because I have no idea what your supposed to do on your "due date" other than be sad. It's going to be my way of not just remembering the baby, but also remembering the journey we have been on while learning a hard life lesson. We took one of our most sour lemons that life handed to us and made something that resembled lemonade.We grew stronger in our marriage and my roots grew deeper in my faith. I wish I could say this is our only lemon we will be handed in life. I know it won't be and I probably won't be ready for it when it happens, but I will approach it with grace just like we did when life handed us this lemon.

Thanks for supporting us on this journey. Keep the prayers coming for our rainbow baby. We appreciate them more than you know. I know God is using me to be a light for others going thru this. My hope is that I give you hope for your own family.

xoxo

Sarah